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2005-02-15T15:18:00.000+05:30

Hi

From Feb 2005 writing for http://www.serenelight.org

After all if the heart was not going to care for her stomach, the brain and hand should. But her soul was into giving and the hand that clutched, slowly stretched. THE LIGHT OF A LAMP On Tsunami Relief

Click on the links to read my short stories, articles & verses published in http://www.sitagita.com

Disability need not be just about physical and mental disabilities, A disability rarely thought of is emotional disability. THE SOUND OF SILENCE
On World Disability Day - a short verse

But she didnt mind, those few seconds were worth the wait. WAITING
On World AIDS Day - a short verse

A human prince had to choose between pleasure and pain. What would he gain, by choosing pain? CONQUEROR'S CROWN
Is corruption still an issue today? A short story inspired by Ramayana. True devotion to Lord Ram - Building a temple or incorporating his values in our day to day life?

"If perhaps the victim had asked you for help and if you had time and if it was possible, you would help. But otherwise it would be none of your business." Exactly she had hit the nail on the head BLURRED BOUNDARIES The Bapi Sen incident I have mentioned in the story is true. And I dedicate this story to him.May his soul rest in peace. Bapi Sen

She flinched. A giant wave had slapped her face hard. But she had flinched only at the one word which seemed to echo in her mind. The word her husband's girlfriend had dismissed her with today - "Loser". THE SURVIVOR This short story is a based on an article in Intelligent Investor IF DIVORCE DO US PART..by Monica Halan

Uncharacteristically, I burst out "Is it wise to fight? The enormous social costs! A slow legal system with laws, still loaded against the victim! How can you not regret, your decision to fight?" I knew I had gone too far. I had belittled her struggle. I expected an angry warrior but was shocked when she laughed. "One gives excuses when in wrong, do we need a reason to fight for rights?". THE WARRIOR
Related to this story, my article RAPE LAWS IN INDIA

Blue now looked utterly confused then burst out "Why is he marrying you at this AGE?" THE WEDDING INVITATION
This short story is based on an article in Outlook Magazine BEARES OF ODD BURDENS by Leela Menon

She treated the rain, with disdain, as she walked out from the panchayat office. A far severe storm was brewing in her mind. Her eyes were flashing, matching the summer lightning; and her anger, more explosive than the thunder.They all called her the "Leader". THE RARE RAINBOW
SEXUAL HARASSMENT AT WORKPLACE BACKGROUND INFORMATION

The chances of conviction was around 1%. But won't we take a 1% chance for a life saving surgery? PRICELESS NOT WORTHLESS
DOWRY BACKGROUND INFORMATION

For two to live one had to die. It was simple mathematics. DEATH BEFORE BIRTH
INFOETICIDE AND INFANTICIDE BACKGROUND INFORMATION

Not even in life but even your importance in death was relevant to the place you were born. ONE MINUTE
My first story. Moved by the UNICEF statistic - "Every Day, Every Minute a woman dies while giving birth" I dashed this entry to Sitagita's Short Story Contest (Given Theme Roots April 02). And won. Creating awareness about maternal mortality is just the first step against this alarming statistic.

Twenty four Thousand Die Everyday of Hunger. Please do visit Thehungersite
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My Blogs

UNLEASH THE POWER OF ONE
Began with a Rupee for Lalo Manmohan Singh noticed that Laloo was procrastinating... , Waves vs Rocks Do the rocks win the war with waves?, Please Don't Hurt the Eyes, they have Life Eyes have life..., Light a Lamp A Diwali message.., Read this Challenge Cry data..

Pawn Power Can a person born in an ordinary environment, become great? New Year Resolutions Tips for New Year Resolution

Force against the Fury We have seen the Fury of Nature, now is the time to display the Force of Human Compassion You & Tsunami Details on what You can do The Light of a Lamp On Tsunami contributions Hungersite About 24000 people die Everyday due to hunger and related causes and your click will help..

CHEF
Rice Varieties

Upma Varieties
Thuvaiyals - Pastes which can be mixed with Rice
Cooking Tips for those who dislike Cooking

RELATIONSHIPS
Single & Ready to Mingle Dating Tips,

Before Walking off into the Sunset Before you decide to marry... ,

Compatibility Checklist So you want to get married, check this before marrying...

GANDHI
7 things you could have said, but didn't A short post I wrote on Gandhi Jayanthi,

Gandhi & the Congress Party Gandhi wanted the Congress party disbanded...,

Not because I can't, but because I won't So why I dont use abusive language...,

Non Violence Violence is better than Cowardice, says Gandhi. A follow up to the previouse post.

LEGALEAGLE
Blog Killer Know the law while posting some comments,

Aitraaz Should there be a fine for misrepresenting the Legal system?

Right to Life, for the Wife She cant protect herself against HIV+,

10 Questions What do you think the law should be?

WISE DONKEY

The Village Wannabe scriptwriter surfs the net and finds the Five Judge Trench article in Outlook Magazine and the Boss tries to add a filmi touch to it. After 20 years Delh Riots of 1984 Myths The secular party. Why Pappu In Mumbai riots, Hindus attacked another Hindu, is it odd? Pappa Don't Preach He wanted it to be legalised and it happened, then why is he unhappy Sex Life goes up in Smoke Smoking isn't cool The Journey Continues for the Kashmiri Pandits 5 minutes a woman dies due to Childbirth in India

Emergency Against Hindus The VHP said its an Emergency against the Hindus, but what does my personal interpretation of the religion lead me to believe.. Children's Day Nehruji & children Atleast in the Movies After the rain paid a visit on the 5th day of the Chennai Test Match A Day is not Enough On Dr.Kalam's Birthday Wanting to go for a Drive, taken for a Ride A five crore car and the problems of owning a car :)

Leo Whats the big deal about Leos? Leo Blogger Can we recognise a Leo Blogger MS - Songbird A tribute to MS Food for Thought On World Food day Art of Aurevoir When I try to say bye

Stylish & Sensitive, Suave not Sissy Who is this Metrosexual Man Too many tributes, spoils the blog On birthday blogs Belated Birthday Wishes, Ash On Ash Birthday Indian? Idol Indian Idol, how representative is it?

Wanted - Police Jokes Well thats what the Assam police website seems to say.. (Un)Uniform Code A school badge as per religion Not Super Stardom & Film Industry Where are the crores The question that arises after the Veerapan's death Why Blog & not just Comment A reply to a query asked..

Birthdays are Important, Mr.Singh When Dr.Singh refused to make a big deal about his birthday Bush Blames Bond What Bush might have thought.. Textbooks are not Enough What do you think? Kiss Snap Soul Kareena-Midday Dress of a Woman Can we judge a woman by her dress?

When donkey deserves a kick My take on bloggers in a blogsite.

The Word is Out Blog was one of the most looked up words on a dictionary site this year Blogs An analysis of various blog sites Top of the World Reply to a blog post on me, importantly from a blogger whom I look upto and respect. What is mine When my blog access was given to another..

Coffee Club Saying goodbye to a blogsite. Cookbooks are Hot thats what the data seems to say Happy Birthday MIL A post about my MIL Forward On Email forwards after yet another forward Lessons from a Cat Muse advised me to observe a cat

Dog Dislikers A Dog Disliker doesnt hate dogs, just wonders if the dog would bite Short Sleep Solution the new age mantra for success? Life007 is not a guy why would he send a forward suggesting Indian women think about these points before marrying?

Shifted

2005-01-26T16:04:00.000+05:30

Hi

Thanks for the visit. But I have now shifted the blog to
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com

Do visit it. It contains the posts written here as well those written in other blogs.

Hope you have a wonderful day, and looking forward to your visit.

gayathrigowri / wise donkey

Short Sleep Solution

2005-01-24T21:59:00.000+05:30

Uttam Manohar Nakate slept thrice on the job therefore Bharat Forge sacked him. The High Court upheld his right to snooze and awarded him damages. But the Supreme Court has decided to uphold Bharat Forge's decision though. So now those who wanted to take a nap at office cant threathen their HR with court proceedings. Some tell me that the matter can be reviewed if there is a PIL or through support from Parliament etc. While those wheels are set in motion, some ideas for sneaking a nap at work.

1.Sunglasses.
Well you can claim eye infection for 1 week or better claim sunglasses at work reduce the glare and increase productivity

2.On the phone
Glue a dummy phone to your ear and no one will notice the nod. Er dont snore though

3.Files
Especially if you work in a government office. Simply pile up the files on the table and you have a wall to guarantee your privacy.

4.Naive Boss
Circulate a rumour that you get visions if you sleep during the day. And mention you had a morning dream about the boss. Later tell the boss, his family takes advantage of him, never understands or appreciates him enough etc.

5.Meeting
Fix a meeting and escape while you can..

6.Concentration
Say your productivity increases when you concentrate with eyes closed. Dont forget to hold a pen, as though you would write down your thoughts any minute.

7.Competition
Circulate a rumour that the competitor is doing well because of a 1 hour compulsory siesta. (Coroborate with your competitor's colleagues)

8.Blackmail
Mess up a colleague's job and say it happens when you dont get good sleep(not frequently please)

9.Emotional Blackmail

Mention you worked the whole night over a file you took home yesterday

10. If nothing works, circulate about Short Sleep Solution
Another research group in USA has confirmed the importance of small doses of sleep at work. Unlike earlier groups which dealt mainly with sample data, this study was coordinated by a group from a reputed university and the in house Human Tesources Team of a Fortune 500 company.
Reliable sources within the company have confirmed the overall improvement in productivity and profits over the years. But the company is not willing to go public at this juncture, since it seems to fear that its competitors might start enforcing this practise too. The practise, which was started in one branch office nearly 12 years ago, extended slowly throughout the organisation.

Now it has become mandatory for employees to sleep atleast for a few minutes at work.
Suprisingly even the employees were reluctant to implement this concept and many faked the sleep and were uncomfortable with the concept. But within few months there was a stark difference between those who slept and those who didnt and gradually all the employees and managers have been forced to agree due to the consistency of the results.

When asked, how the break in the work load was handled, the managers point out that it is impossible for any employee to concentrate the entire period on the task. Earlier they used to resort to gossip,surf the net,smoke or just drink infinite cups of coffees. But while gossip affects team performance and net surfing distracts the employees, and smoking, coffee etc have medical side effects, and indirectly add to the stress, sleep doesnt. The employees maintain that now going for a short nap break has become as natural as a coffee break and obviously more beneficial.

To queries on whether alarm clocks have been placed on all the tables, the spokesperson laughed and mentioned that while sleep was mandatory, the employees used their discretion and ultimately were accountable to the deadlines and tasks.

The short sleeps at work policy has also resulted in increasing the employee loyalty. An employee of the organisation, after being assured of confidentiality, admitted that, even though he received better offers from other organisations, he was not inclined to quit the organisation, since he felt he wouldnt have functioned at the optimal level if he had not had the short doses of sleep. And felt that by implementing the policy the organisation had sent out a strong message that "It Cared".

Origin
Though many research groups are claiming credit, like many management techniques, this technique too seems to have its origin in the Oriental. Many Japanese & Korean corporates have also been practising this for some decades.

How does it work.
Even the cynics of Applied Industrial Psychology agree that stress can hamper employees productivity and sleep is an easy stress buster. Though some managers wondered if there would be a fall in output, the managers were startled when they realised that there was minimal employee absence due to medical reasons. And a short nap not only seems to calm the employee but seems to endow the person with better decision making ability and work concentration.

Scientists who have recorded the brain wave patterns of these employees point out that a brain works best after the short nap and are able to record the brainwaves and prove their point by assigning various tasks to the employee. Amazingly not just blue collar job performance, but even white collar job performance has improved. The technique also seems to be without race or gender or other bias. After all, isnt sleep universal.

In short, the new age management mantra for Success is Short Sleep Solution

5 minutes

2005-01-22T21:35:00.000+05:30

Unicef says Every Day Every Minute a woman dies while giving birth?
Should there be so many deaths for the births? Is this a preventable
tragedy?
Well it seems preventable when we divide the figure between developed and
developing nations
Maternal mortality rate in developing nations is 1 in every 13 woman while
in developed nations its 1 in every 4100 women
Lets forget the world and talk about India. Surely our stats would be
better.It isnt

Almost two-thirds of Indian women, mostly living in villages, give birth at
home. More than half of this country�s women are anemic and only 20 percent
of mothers receive all the required components of prenatal care. One out of
six women who give birth are between the ages of 15 and 19.

Every five minutes, an Indian woman dies from complications related to
pregnancy and childbirth, adding up to more than 100,0000 deaths a year, one
of the highest rates in the world.

Every 5 minutes a woman dies while giving birth.
And why dont we spend on healthcare
Well we have to ask our minister.
But why will the minister care
when you dont care

What is the value of our life, if we dont respect the process which gives
life.

Motherhood should be about life, not death.

Wherever you are, whatever you do, spend atleast 5 minutes for this issue.
It might be just 5 minutes in your life to you. But 5 minutes is all it
takes before another Life dies. An Indian woman who dies while giving birth.

Lets not expect others to care when we dont show we care. Care to spend 5
minutes

The Journey Continues

2005-01-19T15:19:00.000+05:30

Another hour,day,week,month,year,decade, decade and a half
The journey continues

Governments have come and gone
The journey continues

When you must flee ancestors home for 5000 years, to save your life
The journey continues

Not a NRI, just a refugee,yes there is a diwas,Sept 14th to remind
The journey continues

Not at home, but in Jammu or Delhi or somewhere in your country
The journey continues

Its a genocide, but still not an election issue and because no one seem to care
The journey continues

Lifestyle changed, lives born, another day of dread and disease, and many dead, and yet homeless
The journey continues...
==================
January 4, 1990. A press release issued by Hizb-ul Mujahideen, set up by the Jamaat-e-Islami in 1989 to wage jihad for Jammu and Kashmir's secession from India and accession to Pakistan, asking all Hindus to pack up and leave?

Shops, business establishments and homes of Kashmiri Pandits, the original inhabitants of the Kashmir valley with a recorded cultural and civilisational history dating back 5,000 years, are marked out.

As many as 300,000(to 700000) Kashmiri Pandits have fled their home and hearth and been reduced to living the lives of refugees in their own country.

Two-thirds of them are camping in Jammu. The rest are in Delhi and in other Indian cities.

The United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the crime of genocide in New York, in 1948, declared genocide as a crime under international law.

The Convention defined genocide as any act committed with the idea of destroying in whole or in part a national, ethnic, racial or religious group. This includes such acts as:

Killing members of the group .
Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group.
Deliberately inflicting conditions calculated to physically destroy the group (the whole group or even part of the group).
Forcefully transferring children of the group to another group.
As per this UN definition of genocide, there is no reason why the ethnic cleansing perpetrated against Kashmiri Hindus should not be treated as genocide. There is no reason why the people and countries behind this act of genocide should not be held responsible and criminally prosecuted.

Links
http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/jan/19kanch.htm
http://in.rediff.com/news/2004/oct/20guest.htm
http://in.rediff.com/news/2003/dec/17guest.htm

Dog Dislliker

2005-01-17T17:13:00.000+05:30

"I don't think Ash is beautiful" . Try telling this and the response will vary from "Shall I fix an appointment with an optician" to "Don't think only crazy people visit counsellors, perhaps you should see one". However this is not about Ash, its about saying things you can't get away with it. This is for dog dislikers.

Heard of dog lovers but never heard of dog dislikers? Well likely, because no one will admit to it. But unlike those who think Ash is not beautiful, the number is bigger:)

Dog dislikers don't hate dogs (that will be hard to believe, for the dog lovers). On the contrary Dog Dislikers appreciate the dog for its sense of loyalty and respect it perhaps more than humans, for the unqualified love it oozes on its owner. But they just happen to wonder, if the dog might bite them. I am sure there is some phobia which describes the fear of being bitten by other animals from monkeys to tigers. But since many people dont keep monkeys or tigers at home as their pet, these people (ie those who have a fear of being bitten) focus their fear on dogs and dislike dogs only because they are kept as pets. And lets face it though there are other pets, a barking dog is more intimidating then a mewing cat or a chirping parrot or just fishes etc.

And with due apologies to the technical people who will frown at me for using the word "dog disliker", I would like to go ahead and make suggestions on how to deal with dog dislike.

Situation 1
Your best friend has a dog. And when you ring the doorbell, you can hear it barking. What would be the best course of action?
a.Run back, before the door opens?(extreme pessimist)
b.Pray to God and hope a miracle happens and the dog is tied. (extreme optimist. The first rule of every dog owner is that the dog should never be tied.)
c.Call your friend before hand and tell him/her to tie the dog and hang up before further questions are asked. (a realist)
d.Call again, before you ring the doorbell to check if the dog has been tied (a prudent realist who knows the uses of mobile phones)

But sooner or later, you will be demanded a reason. Don't ever say "I have signed up for eye donation. Eyes can be donated till 6 hours after death . Anyone can donate except those with HIV, jaundice or death from dog bite". You might be technically correct. But no dog owner is going to accept that their dog could bite. In fact even if you are bitten, you would be the person who provoked, not a victim.

So what do you do? The best one in my opinion, is to talk about a cat in your neighbourhood. Which keeps rubbing itself against you when you leave home and your worry that the dog with its acute smell, might smell the cat in you and start sniping at you. Sounds too fancy, well if you can think of a better one, do tell me. But this one would work. Even if your friend says you got the idea from reading this, look shocked and offended. Be firm. Give a nickname to the cat (eg Sharp Claws) . Discuss that its unfair, that cat owners are not made as accountable as dog owners. Your friend will forget this blog and start agreeing with you. (Dog lovers arent necessarily cat haters but they will accept their dogs hates cats and they carry a grudge against the cat owners for their lack of accountability)

Situation 2.
The smart dog has made the connection between you and being tied up. And doesn't stop barking. Should you offer it something.If it barks or snarls at you, insist its because of the Sharp Claws. But if you want to buy dog food be careful. Many dog lovers won't care about the brand of food, you give to their children but its not the same for their dog. So get the exact details. (if your boss is a dog owner, this is one of the best ways to pacify him/her, which isn't mentioned in those self help books).

Situation 3.
You have the dog biscuit, should you give it directly to the dog.A firm no. Your hands will probably tremble, since you will be wondering if the dog can distingush your fingers from the biscuit, and doesnt look good if your boss or friend notices your hands trembling. And the dog would mistake the trembling hand for a teasing hand. Best if you hand it over to the dog owner. Dont worry, the dog would have smelled the dog food on you when you entered and sooner or later would make the right connections. Even if it doesn't, you score points with the dog owner.

Situation 4
When a dog owner wants to bring over the dog to your house.
Mention that Scary Claws clawed out a doberman's eye. And the new building association rule forbids visitors dogs. (If you arent the Association President, tell Scary Claws belongs to the Association President. If your friend lives in the same building, stick with mere Scary Claws tales.) Think back to how many believed the Delhi monkey man stories. Just be firm with your story.

Situation 5
When your spouse/sibling/kids want a dog in your house. As per the undiscovered laws of DNA (fate), every dog disliker's parent,spouse, siblings and children will love dogs and would want to keep one as a pet.
Keep a framed picture of a dog in your house. (Tell it was your friend's dog, and you havent yet got over its death decades ago. It was so special blah blah blah and thats why even though you are crazy about dogs, you don't go near/own another dog). Scores points with dog owners, and also prevents your spouse/children wanting a dog. In fact if anyone talks about dogs, start staring in a detached manner at the picture. If you acquire a pic now, and your spouse argues, its because of this blog. Again look, shocked, anguished and admit you read it, and then add that it bought back saddened memories of your childhood dog. Just be firm, did Laloo become a Railway Minister, by giving in to accusations? Lack of WMDs doesn't affect Bush stances on Iraq, does it?

Other things you can do.
Ask dog owners their dog's birthday (look shocked if they say they don't celebrate it.) Remember the birthday and get a gift on that date.

Keep a book on dog care, and discuss it.

Keep atleast one dog toy in your display cupboard.

The extremes will go for a dog wallpaper or screensaver.

In short learn from the politicians, Actions dont count. Just creating an illusion of an enemy (scary claws) and tributes to past leaders count and a firm lie wins over truth

Light of a Lamp

2005-01-13T11:49:00.000+05:30

She stared at the few hundred rupee notes in her hand. She had requested her employer to give it to her few days earlier, to enable her to do some New Year shopping. To celebrate the New Year in her own humble way. Of course she had to be careful with the money, her husband was no more and her family depended on her.
Yet now the money meant something else to her and she continued to stare at it. Her eyes focussed on the man smiling at her from the hundred rupee note. Why was He smiling?
Because, she had the money and was full of joy, or because he knew that if she were to give it someone else, she would still have joy and someone else too would share the joy...
She wished the thought wouldn't enter her head. Her employer had talked about contributing to the Prime Minister's National Relief Fund. They will be contributing in thousands, a few hundreds from me wouldnt make a difference, a voice said from within. But another voice insisted that she too, should do she do her best for the Tsunami vicitms. After all she thought even success of a movie worth crores, is determined by people who buy tickets for less than a hundred. Perhaps there is strength in numbers, she decided.
She went back and returned part of the money to her employer and asked her to give that money too to the relief fund.
Her employer smiled at her in amazement. Yet, declined and said she would contribute on her behalf too.
Her hand clutched the notes tightly. After all if the heart was not going to care for her stomach, the brain and hand should. But her soul was into giving and the hand that clutched, slowly stretched.
And she insisted that those notes too should be included, while taking the DD. And discovering the joy of giving, She Smiled.
Her employer, who had lamented about the Fury of Nature, now saw the Force of Human Compassion. She had thought disasters were the Curse of Gods, but realised that they were a Challenge to bring out the God within. Stunned she too, Smiled.
Later, a woman suddenly orphaned by the Tsunami,
thought she had none and that there was no point in living.
Yet when she got the relief, she realised that though
one cannot get back the lost lives,
Or get back the lost lifestyle,
Someone out there still cares,
And even if its not everything,
There is someone who wants to wipe away her tears.
And she too smiled.
Realising the Joy in Giving, the Giver Smiled
Stunned by the Force of Humanity, her Employer too Smiled
Realising that people still care, and that life can go on
The victim felt a Reason for Living and she too Smiled.
Its not a laugh, but just a smile. And a bittersweet smile.
But instead of just crying, even after the Tsunami
India still manages to Smile.
Some might Laugh when others make a mistakes
Some Indians Smiles when they correct, even God's mistakes.
And what can be more fun then discovering the Goodness within?
Just like a lamp, which never loses its glow
when it lights another
Many light a lamp,
During the darkness followed by disasters.
The light of these lamps spreads throughout India
And leaves India Shining & Smiling.

Wherever you are, Whenever you read this, its never too late to make a donation by cheque or draft in the name of the Prime Minister's National Relief Fund and sent it to the Prime Minister's Office, South Block, New Delhi-110001 or if you want to make the contribution online or by credit card of bank transfer etc, visit the url http://pmindia.nic.in/relief.htm

Discover the Joy of Giving.
You will smile and someone else too will smile,
Come, Join the India Smiling Campaign.

Happy Birthday MIL

2005-01-13T11:40:00.000+05:30

Muse : Hi you look very happy today, your birthday?
Self : Not my birthday, my mother in law's birthday
Muse : Must be special lady,
Self : Well in today's world, how many think of their Daughters in Law as their Daughter
Muse : She doesnt have a daughter of her own?Self : No.She has an adorable daughterMuse : Hmmm, so anything special about you?
Self : Not at all. In fact my cosister is a better bahu than me,but she treats the 3 of us as equals.
Muse : Did she have a fantastic mother in law
Self : Unfortunately no, life had not been kind to her.
Muse : Yes I got to admit that it is interesting
Self : And what more, she expects her son to be a son to my parents. When my younger sister was going to get married, the first thing she said to my husband was that he must get involved in the wedding as a son.
Muse : Now that is something, there are many women who crib their daughter in law doesnt treat them as a mother, yet when it comes to their son..
Self : Exactly
Muse : So you never have problems
Self : Who doesnt have problems, but if I have a problem,she will be the first person to know it. Sometimes its even before I know about it.Some years ago, I was alone with them and working. I came home tired and took rest saying I was having a mild headache. Most mother in laws would just view it as an excuse for being lazy. But inspite of my protests,she dragged me to the doctor. I was diagnosed with a far more severe illness and according to the doctor if I had come the next day, my chances of survival itself would have been in question.Muse : Wow. What about the other family members, planning to come up with posts on them too.Self : All I want to say is if there is any goodness, kindness in me, I owe it to every member in my family. But I wouldnt be writing about them because I dont think they will be comfortable with it. I am writing about my mother in law because, she can be a source of inspiration to many. Life was not good to her, yet, she didnt become cynical or change any of the goodness in her. Instead of getting even with people and miseries in life, she chooses to be good and gets ahead.
Muse : So whats the gift you are going to give her
Self : Unfortunately I am not with her at the moment, and I could just talk with her over phone. Amazingly, she thinks thats enough of a gift..me telling her "Happy Birthday " and talking with her for some time.
Muse : Mother
Self : Yes Mother a who loves without expectation. MIL, Mother in Love
posted in O3 on 8th january

Forward

2005-01-13T11:34:00.000+05:30

Muse : You just deleted another email from a friend without reading it..
Self : That was not an email, a forward
Muse : So??
Self : I dont read forwards and dislike forwards
Muse : Just because one might receive a wrong call, doesnt mean one doesnt answer the phone. If you dislike forwards, dont forward it to someone. But why not even read it.
Self : Just calculate the number of friends one has, and then multiply it with the n number for friends they would have and so on.. Everyday Everyminute I am sure someone in that link will be forwarding an email to another, and that will reach me. If I spend my time reading all of them...
Muse : But what if its important.
Self : Well those who know me, know I wouldnt open a forward and if its important, they can send it as an email.
Muse : Then how come you received one
Self : Well the person probably decided to forward it to everyone in address book. And so the forward has reached me too. And unfortunately the others in address book will now have my email id, even though I didnt give it to them , because of this practice of forwarding to everyone in the address book. And they will add me to their address book and next time there is a forward, will forward it to me too.
Muse : Well agree thats an disadvantage, but what if you are missing on the joke of the year, most beautiful picture of the century, etc.
Self : Well, its possible and I accept I might be missing out on something but I am not prepared to waddle through all the forwards I receive everyday for it.
Muse : Thats just an egoistic approach
Self : If thats your opinion, fine, but thats all it is.:)
Muse : Hmmm so this is going to be a blog post..
Self : Yes. I thought perhaps there would be others like me. But who hesitate to mention it to others and silently endure the forwards, even the ones which occupy most of the storage space immediately. Perhaps it would be reassuring to them to know that there are others out there who share their dislike of forwards.
Muse : Hmmm who knows one day even this could be forwarded by emailSelf : Possible, after all there are many who forward without reading :)

Cat Lessons

2005-01-03T03:23:00.000+05:30

Muse : Still numb,dumb,glum?
Self : Hi Muse. Yeah if all these deaths & destructions werent enough, I have to deal with an accusation in O3 about me giving information on Prime Minister's National Relief Fund for gaining attention and for making a comeback! And then it was me having multiple ids! I think the latest is me spreading rumours about who made the accusation!Even though I had clearly stated that I have respect for the opinion and willing to edit if anything, if it diverts attention from the cause.
Muse : All I have to say is look and learn from the cat.Saying this Muse disappeared and I went in search of a cat...

Well I looked at the neighbourhood cat and made the following observations.

1.Independence
I wondered who owned the cat. Irrespective of ownership, the cat seems to have an identity of its own
Independence is important

2.Control
Watched the cat as it walked and also when it ran. The Elegance and the Control. Confidence seemed to ooze from it.
Appearances and the way one carries self does count.

3.Cats dont care to communicate or clarify
The cat caught my stare, but just stared back. Looking at it, I had no idea if it had just had its meal or yet to have it. Obviously the cat hadnt read self help books and other suggestions on communicate and clarify
Dont communicate and clarify unless it has a purpose.

4.Stiff upper lip
Would the cat be sad. Its easier to notice sadness in dogs, but a sad cat?
Don't discuss your problem with everyone. Everyone has problems of their own.

5.Self Esteem
Many would have heard the phrase "Stroke the dog, it thinks you are God, stroke the cat, it think its God". No I didnt go and stroke it. But the cat didnt look needy either. It seemed to think it was God, even when I didnt stroke it.
Dont let others determine, what you think of yourself.

6.Bad Omen
When a cat runs across your path. It would seem its a bad omen. But I doubt if it bothers the cat.
One cant please all the people, all the time. Concentrate on what you are and what you want to be

7.Landing on your feet
I watched the cat climb gracefully up, but when it had to jump down, it landed on its feet.
Even if there is a fall, the important thing is to not lose balance and control. Take the rise and fall, comfortably in your stride.

8.Respect
We love dogs. But somehow though I didnt even like the cat, I had to admit that I respected it.
Never aim for people to like you. You will just end up doing things which will make them like you. Instead, do what you like, even though people may not like you, they would respect you.

9.Love & Loyalty
Dogs are supposed to be man's best friend. Hmmm what about cats. They are not exactly enemies. I am sure the cat would be friendly to someone, it chooses. Dogs might have the "die without you attitude ". But cats I felt would be wiser.
Sure love, loyalty is important, but not at the cost of self. Relationships are important, but Self is more important.

10.Silence
I realised the cat was still staring at me. And I dont know if there are humans out there who can win a staring contest with cats. Well I couldn't. Hmmm I thought, did I get intimidated by a cat. A bark from a doberman is different, but hey the cat didnt even mew. Hmmm if it had mewed would I have been intimidated??
No wonder they say silence is golden.

You & Tsunami Relief

2005-01-01T22:38:00.000+05:30

There are people out there who need us, lets not let them down. Nature didnt distingush, why should we. We have seen the Fury of Nature, now is the time to display the Force of Human Compassion.

A MUST VISIT BLOG http://tsunamihelp.blogspot.com Contains lots of information on how YOU can help, including help in kind, various ngos working towards this cause, and list of Funds you can contribute to. If you are working towards this cause, and would like to invite support, you can make a mention of that too in this blog.

For mainly Indian relief coordination, one can visit http://www.indiatogether.org/relief/tsunami They also have a seperate blog which allows us to post queries and answeres on Tsunami Relief under the section Who What Where?

PRIME MINISTER'S NATIONAL RELIEF FUND

To donate Online to this fund, please click on the link http://www.sify.com/pmf.php

To remit funds through Money2India, kindly follow the steps given below:
1. Log on to your Money2India Account with the URL: https://m2inet.icicibank.co.in/m2iNet
2. Click on the link "Make a Donation"
3. Add Prime Minister's National Relief Fund as your registered beneficiary. Select your donation options - e-Transfer (Only in USA), Net Express (DBS Bank in Singapore only), Power Transfer and Cheque Transfer
4. Select ICICI Communities Tsunami Relief Fund from the Existing Receiver drop-down list. Provide the relevant remittance details - Amount and Currency. Do not forget to put the donation option code GF1â€ and click on "Submit"
To contribute by way of cheque/demand draft
12 banks have been authorised to receive such donations. They are State Bank of India, Central Bank of India, Union Bank of India, Dena Bank, Syndicate Bank, Corporation Bank, Bank of India, Indian Overseas Bank, Punjab National Bank, Indian Bank, Allahabad Bank and Citi Bank.
Donations could be made by cheque or draft in the name of the Prime Minister's National Relief Fund and sent to the Prime Minister's Office, South Block, New Delhi-110001.
The nationalised banks will not charge any commission on preparation of draft in favour of PMNRF.
Contributions could also be sent through money orders with no commission chargeable.
The contributions to PMNRF have been notified for 100% deduction from taxable income under section 80 (G) of the Income Tax Act.
Form for Cheque / Demand Draft http://gayathiri1.tripod.com/id35.html

Form for payments through Credit Card http://gayathiri1.tripod.com/id35.html

Information for payments through Bank Transfers http://gayathiri1.tripod.com/id34.html

NRIs & Foreign Nationals :
Besides the other modes of payments,the contribution towards the Prime Minister’s National Relief Fund can be deposited with the Indian Missions abroad clearly indicating your communication address. Formal receipt will be issued through the respective Mission.

Contributions to the Chief Minister's Public Relief Fund
The Contribution may be sent either by cash or cheque or Demand Draft drawn in favour of "CHIEF MINISTER'S PUBLIC RELIEF FUND" addressed to : The Joint Secretary to Government and Treasurer, Chief Minister's Public Relief Fund, Finance Department, Secretariat, Chennai-600 009. Receipt will be given immediately on credit of the amount contributed to the fund Account which is entitled for 100% Tax Relief under Income Tax Act 1961. For addtitional information http://www.tn.gov.in/misc/cmprf2003.htm

These are additional links which can be useful. But please note that I am not recommending any fund. Use your discretion while making the contribution.

Red Cross
People who want to help may send bank drafts/cheques in the name Indian Red Cross Society, New Delhi. One may also deposit cash or relief material at the Delhi office. The society is accepting everything except perishable items and used clothes. Address: Indian Red Cross Society, 1, Red Cross Road, New Delhi - 110001 Phone: (011) 23716441, 23716234 Donate online by clicking on https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp
=========================

Hindu Relief Fund
A relief fund has specially been set up to receive contributions, which are fully deductible under the Income Tax Act, and will be made over to the Prime Minister's National Relief Fund/Chief Ministers' Relief Fund.
Readers may send their cheques or drafts payable to "The Hindu Relief Fund" Kasturi Buildings 859 Anna Salai Chennai 600 002 INDIA
Contributions will also be accepted at all our branch offices.
All contributions above Rs.2,500 will be acknowledged in the newspaper.
You may also use your credit card to make the contribution online http://pay.hindu.com/thrfpay/thrfpay.jsp
For Bank Transfers :
Account Name : The Hindu Relief Fund Accoun No.102914 Account With Central Bank of India, Raheja Complex, Mount Road, Chennai 600002 Swift Code : CBININBBMDR
=========================

ICICI Communities Tsunami Relief Fund
which is managed by GiveIndia (www.giveindia.org) - an organization actively associated with the relief work in the disaster-struck region in the south-eastern coast of India. GiveIndia is a professionally managed non-profit organization that has undertaken commendable relief work during natural calamities such as the earthquake in Gujarat.
Log on to http://www.money2india.com
Click on the link “ Make a Donation ”
Add ICICI Communities Tsunami Relief Fund as your registered beneficiary
Select your donation options - e-Transfer (Only in USA), NetExpress (DBS Bank in Singapore only), PowerTransfer and ChequeTransfer
Select ICICI Communities Tsunami Relief Fund from the Existing Receiver drop-down list
Provide the relevant remittance details - Amount and Currency
Do not forget to put the donation option code “GF1”
Submit
Various ways of transferring Money2India
e-Transfer : A completely online method to transfer money into India.
ChequeTransfer : A convenient option that eliminates the need to visit a bank, just mail your foreign currency cheque.
PowerTransfer : A unique internet based wire transfer facility.
NetExpress : Fast online money transfers from Singapore through DBS Bank
=========================

Times of India
To contribute to this effort cheques may be sent payable to:
• Times Foundation, The Times of India, Dr D N Road, Mumbai – 400001).
• Times Foundation, The Times of India, 7 Bahadurshah Zafar Marg, New Delhi – 110002. Contributions can also be made through www.timesofmoney.com and through www.remit2india.com For more information on the above please contact: • Madhura / Anuradha at Bombay 022-56354376/4398/4345 • Angela / Sandhya / Sagar at Delhi 011-23302864/2856/2103 You may also visit www.timesfoundation.org . E-mails can be sent at timesfoundation@timesgroup.com All donations above Rs 1,000 will be acknowledged through the newspaper.
=========================

NDTV's trust fund, The Hope Trust
Donations can be made to: HOPE - Tsunami Relief Fund and sent to:
The Company Secretary,New Delhi Television,W-17,Greater Kailash-1,New Delhi-110048.
All donations are tax deductible under section 80G of Income Tax Act,1961.
=========================

Indian Express Citizen's Relief Fund
The Indian Express, 3/50, Lalbaug Industrial Estate, Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar Road, Lalbaug, Mumbai 400 012.
If you live outside Mumbai, please send demand drafts. You may also send your contributions to your local office of The Indian Express. If you live overseas, please send dollar-denominated pay orders. All contributions are eligible for tax deduction under Section 80G.
Please mention your address so that we can send you your 80G tax-exemption certificates.
To donate online click on http://subscriptions.expressindia.com/bpd/tsunami/form.html

Sulekha.com
It has partnered with Association for India's Development (AID) to raise money for the relief efforts in India following the devastating earthquake/tsunami that has claimed thousands of lives. Sulekha.com has created a matching fund This fund will match dollar-for-dollar all contributions made through Sulekha to AID.. If you are an individual or a corporation interested in becoming a matching fund donor or have any questions about Sulekha-AID Tsunami relief fund, please write to Arti Patel at arti@sulekha.net The money raised will be given to AID to support their disaster relief efforts. The Association for India's Development (AID), Inc. is a 501(c)(3) charitable non-profit organization and all contributions to AID Inc. are tax-deductible in the US( Federal tax-ID is 04-3652609). For online credit card payments http://www.sulekha.com/aidtsunami

Thanks

2004-12-26T17:20:00.000+05:30

Had a problem and wrote this as a post.
2 bloggers in particular, Anand and Fantababy were really helpful even though they didnt know me.
Wish I could be more eloquent in expressing my gratitude. At the moment, its Thank you for your time, efforts and concerns

Force against the Fury

2004-12-26T15:56:00.000+05:30

Just when one thinks one has read about everything that happened in 2004 and can move on to 2005, along comes the 5th largest earthquake in the century and the largest in the last 40 years. And the resultant tidal waves and the flooding have caused lots of destruction. And as I write this, the full extent of the calamity is not yet known.

What will be the news after a week. Will we just move on? Will this be just another addition to 2004?

When nature strikes, it doesnt discriminate does it? Probably relief help would be asked. To help we need not desert our day to day lifestyle, but lets not forget to support the ngos or government.

There are people out there who need us, lets not let them down.

Nature didnt distingush, why should we. We have seen the Fury of Nature, now is the time to display the Force of Human Compassion.

New Year Resolutions

2004-12-25T20:47:00.000+05:30

The New Year is a good time to make resolutions but what is the point of resolutions if we cant keep them?

The right time for new year resolutions is Now. Surely you would have an idea of what you would like to be your new year resolution? Well start implementing it today. And see if you can maintain it and modify it accordingly on the New Year eve.

Tips for new year resolution

Review your last year's resolution.
Have you succeeded, if not, why have you failed. Examine it and if necessary keep the same resolution this year too.

Drastic never works
No one can change overnight, so avoid drastic resolutions

Not toooooo easy please
Not being drastic, doesnt mean it shouldnt be challenging.

Not too many please
Keep a focus. Yes we would all like to become everything to everyone, but doing everything may not be possible, and the chances are that we would get discouraged and give up after a month. Maintain a core focus for each year, if you are able to do achieve everything else , great! But dont give up on the core.

Let it be for a year not a day
New year is the time to plan for the entire year. Let the resolution not be something for which you need just couple of days.

Have a plan
Whats the point of intention if you cant think of execution?
Write down what you have to do carry out the intention and of course, do it:)

Reminders
Sometimes its easy to forget the resolution after the New Year euphoria passes away, and one is tempted to postpone the resolution to the next year. :) Plan to remind yourself of it throughout the year. Make a mention of it in the diary, online reminders or if required inform people close to you about your resolution.

Strengths , weakness, Opportunities Threats
Enhance your strengths, act against your weakness, see what how you can utitlise the opportunities for the year and see if you have to prepare yourself against any threats.

Identify your tasks into Urgent and Important, Urgent but not Important, Important but not Urgent, not Important, not Urgent.
Let your resolution concentrate on what is not urgent but still important to you.

Suggestions
New year resolution need not be about people quitting bad habits , it can be about deciding to learn something new, to do something differently, better management of Health, Wealth and Time etc

All the best and Happy New Year

Single ready to Mingle

2004-12-14T14:50:00.001+05:30

Guys
Met a girl, want to ask her out.
You see someone who looks decently beautiful and smart, could be coworker or someone you know casually. All you want is some good time and get to know the person better. No, not love at first sight, but just interested.Well if you want to ask her out, you have to do it, not me :) But some tips which could help you.

1.Ask for lunch, not for dinner.
Dont ask her the same day, she may not be genuinely free. Ask her, for the next day. If she refuses, and says she is not free, dont pressurise her immediately and ask for another day. Ask her when it would be convenient and ask her to tell you. If she doesnt give you a day within the next 2 days and doesnt follow it up with an explanation, drop the topic.

2.If you are asking after just introducing yourself, ask for a coffee. If she says she doesnt drink coffee, watch her expression. If she is smiling she could be genuine and ask her the alternative. But if she is grim, please dont suggest tea, give a casual shrug and move on :)
What if you hate coffee? Too many movies showing spiked softdrinks,& icecream would depend upon the season, and it would look like addressing a kid, of course you can say milk shake,juice, tea,lassi or something else, for convenience I mentioned coffee. I am not telling you to order coffee, just ask out for a coffee :)

3.The girl next door.
If you are talking with her, dont talk when someone from the building can see you too together. Gossip can be damaging. Communicate clearly. While you might be just interested in a date, she might think you had been in love with her for some years and last thing you need is a duel between her parents and yours due to communication gap between you both. Meet her outside the building and ask casually about the coffee.

4.A friend of the girl next door.
Well if you are her friend, just ask her to introduce to you next time. But if she is not your friend, just catch her when no one is around, describe the girl you are interested in clearly,(no not the vital stats please:), since she might have many friends), and give your email id and ask her to pass it to her friend. Girls might be reluctant to give their email ids or their friends email ids. So its better if you give yours. Just ask the girl next door to tell her friend to send a Hi to your email id.

4.You meet someone on the street,shopping mall etc, dont know what to do. Well make eye contact and smile. If she smiles back, say hi and walk over. If she blushes, smiles and looks away, hmmm try one more time, but if she doesnt smile, please ignore.
Huh what do you say after Hi, well say your name and what you are doing etc. And dont stand too close to her. See if she says anything, if she replies with she doesnt care who you are, or creates a commotion, stay calm, dont be flustered. Just say you thought she was someone you had studied with at college, etc and walk away. All girls wont do it, and if the same thing happens more than three times with you continuously, I think you dont know to differentiate between a smile and a scowl from a girl. If she gives her name but doesnt say much, just give her your email id. Unless she gives, dont pester her for her id, phone no. etc. Of course you can give your phone no. too, but I am just being cautious.

She doesnt email you and you meet her next time. Please ignore her. If she has lost your email id, let her come forward and mention it. Smile at her but dont approach her.(Though the movies might recommend asking if a hanky is hers or asking the time etc, its just too corny for some. Just say your name, with a pleasant smile, if you cant think of something original).

If she is with someone, dont approach her even if she seems interested in you. If she is interested, she will find a way to dump the persons she is with. Keep an eye on what she is doing, but dont follow her. If you lose her, see if you can catch her again around the same time, the following day, or the same day of the next week. But dont approach a girl when she is with someone, its just not worth it.

5.Your buddy
She has been a good friend for sometime, you want to go an extra step with her. Not love, but to explore the possibility of love. Well start with asking her out to coffee, lunch etc. But explain to her its ok if she is not interested in it.

If you think this is tough then think of these guys -Not able to meet a girl.

1.Well there are some dating sites. Also there are sites for classmates from schools and colleges. Hmmm, well you will have atleast some idea of that person and they too will have some idea about you. Get in touch with them and try your luck :)

2.Attend more social functions including all your friends and colleagues weddings:) (A bad idea, your boss's girl or your colleague's sister. Unless you are serious, dont. If its your colleagues sister, just make sure it will not affect the office relationship.)

3.Chat rooms, blogs on the net are not a bad idea, but be careful, there could be plenty of fakes.Try to be more specific, for example join groups which share your interests. Have your homepage. Just be more cautious, and if you have to meet someone, meet in a public place. Dont insist on a pic, but if you are interested, just ask her out for a coffee in the afternoon. And if you think you have fallen in love, even though you have not see her photo, wait till you see her in person before declaring it.

4.Check the email forwards. It could be a friend of your friend of your friend...Well not exactly a total stranger :)

5.Broaden your horizons, but dont do something you are not comfortable with.
If you like books, visit couple of more libraries, bookshops etc and keep an eye out for interesting girls. But if you loathe books, dont do it. Its stupid to pretend and when she finds about it on the date, either she is going to think you are desperate to meet girls (well it could be true, but its not that cool to admit it) or that you are madly in love with her (well that too could be true, a shared interest is not a prerequisite for romance. But the topic here is dating which is about exploring the possibility of romance. Its not necessary that you will fall in love with her, and when she thinks you are in love and when you are not in love, the date is just going to go sour)
Please dont look at telephone directory and start trying your luck randomly
and also dont hang forever around colleges.

I have suggested lunch or coffee, the other ideas:
Why not a movie?
Well the movie is not a bad idea, but its a bad idea to talk about yourself or get to know the girl during the movie.

Beach, garden etc ???
The girl might hesitate to come on a first date to these places, where it would be easy for you to assault her too.

Sports events, music concerts, etc
If you know she shares your interests, do go ahead, even if you wont be able to get to know each other during it.

A friend's party
It is not a very bad idea, but are you sure you want her to know your friends :D and the timing might not be convenient for her and she might feel overwhelmed if she is the only one who doesnt know everyone and you might not be able to spend time with her.

Asking her out for bowling or a game of tennis etc
Well it depends on the girl, but dont think you will be impressing her by being macho and beating her throughly, on the first date. And its not necessary that just because she is a girl, she cant beat you. Is your ego and heart capable of handling losing to her?
Both of you will just end up competing with each other, not knowing each other. But if circumstances force you to have a first date like this, its ok to go for the win, but just be diplomatic and play it down and say everyone has good days and bad days.

Discotheque
Unless you know she frequents one, dont mention it as a first date option. The time factor would make her hesitate.

What do you talk on date
Well you can tell about your hobbies and interests. Dont go on talking about just yourself. And do ask questions to your date but dont be too inquisitive. Dont talk about all your problems, anger and frustration on the first date :) and dont boast too much about yourself even if what you say is true, its preferable to be slightly modest:)

If you already are engaged, or have a committed boyfriend/girlfriend etc, or you are a widow/divorcee etc do mention it. Ideally in some cases, you should have mentioned it before the date :) But if you have agreed to it, to just check the person out, or thought that it is just a friendly invite not a date, or because as a guy, you couldnt bring yourself to say no bluntly to a girl who invited you, or for some other reason, do make a mention of the relationship on the first date.

If you have split with someone, you could mention casually, but please dont go through the entire history of the relationship on the first date.

Dont get physical with on the first date itself.

Second date
If you know each other, dont ask her for the 2nd date on the 1st date itself. The day after the date, talk to her casually, (well how about goodmorning and the weather, even if you cant think of anything else). If she makes reference to the your date, ask her if they could meet some other time. But dont get too specific. If she avoids you, you know her answer. Dont scowl at her but dont talk to much with her and be pleasant with her and let her know you got the message and you are cool with it. If she agrees do ask her next week. It need not be lunch or coffee, ask her opinion. If she says she is not free during the week, same routine as first date, keep it open and tell her to tell you, when she would be free. So you dont have to pester her.

Girls
The above should apply to the girls too. But lets face it, girls are more shy and frankly, dont like to appear to be too aggressive.

Met the guy, could be a longtime colleague, or a guy you just happened to meeting in a mall.
Well look into his eyes, not his face or top of his head or beyond him. Just the eyes. Even two seconds is enough. Do that thrice in a week, if you are in the same environment, bus etc. If he doesnt make an approach to you, forget it.

He made an approach, you got nervous and blew it. Well dont expect him to run after you, go and be friendly to him, he cant bite you for that. If you cant do that, atleast wish him good morning in a pleasant manner. Its not going to be easy, but it doesnt mean you shouldnt try. But once bitten twice shy, I doubt if he probably would not ask you out again because he wouldnt like rejection or appear pushy. Afraid you will have to do the asking here.

Oh so it is ok to ask?
If you are already introduced to him, its ok to ask for coffee, if you can manage it casually. But just be prepared for his rejection. He could also be polite and agree while he might not be interested. So dont get carried away.

When it is a friend of boy next door
When you are not that friendly with the boy next door, it can be tough. But just walk up to him, and as calmly as possible, describe the guy and ask him for his email id. And send an email to the guy, saying hi, I am ___. Met you ___ and got your email id thru ____. Bye. Thats enough. If the guy doesnt respond, forget it. Of course you can also give your email id.

So girls can suggest movies,beaches,parks etc? Use your discretion though I wouldnt advise it. What I said re, sports events, music concerts, applies here too.

And if you want courage to muster asking to him, you could walk out with him couple of times and talk generally, if you are working together etc.

If you have asked him for the coffee, dont approach for the second date. Let him ask you. But keep the communication channel open by being pleasant to him. The guy could be unsure on whether you are still interested in him and perhaps if you are interested in him, think you would ask for the 2nd date also. On the other hand the guy could have been emotionally pressurised to accept the first date or he might not be interested in you. Its safer to not ask for the 2nd date, but just be pleasant and polite.

Can't find a guy.
Huh even though the population is in favour of the girls, sometimes Mr.Right is not always around the corner.

Well what I said for guys apply here too, but just be more careful when you have to meet strangers. Dont paste your pic on the net, even if it increases the chances of meeting Mr.Right, it just increases the chances of you meeting Mr.Wrong a lot.

Common for both
Everyone would be curious to view your picture. But that doesnt mean you will have to share it with everyone. And the pic of the person displayed need not be the true pic.

Keep two email ids, one for important stuff like etransactions, family etc. And the other for friends. Especially friends who forward emails to everyone on the planet.

Exchanging email ids instead of telephone nos. Generally when its the first date, one might blabber or get nervous or get too excited etc. Therefore email id is better then phone, it gives both of you plenty of time to get composed and then compose what you want to say:)

What if you discover you are not interested in the second date, especially if you have asked for the first date. Well its insulting when you suddenly ignore the person, especially if you know the person, be pleasant but do maintain some distance. Though cliched, if the other person mentions another date, make an excuse of not being available and the I will get back to you routine.

Though tempting avoid asking your dates for their friend's email ids :) If you want to ask, ask after you are on good terms with that person.

Valentine day
Well here I am clearly talking about dating not romance. Its better to go on a date and check for the chances of romance then to give the impression that you are madly in love and then break up after a month.

Obviously all are not the same, and these are just broad guidelines. These are not rules, magazines are there for that.

The idealists would object to my term of dating being "exploring the possibility of romance".This post is not for these idealists. It would of course be lot easier if people just fall in love at first sight. But it doesnt happen always.

And how does one know that the quest has ended? Aaah thats another post:)

Began with a Rupee

2004-12-04T14:40:00.000+05:30

Manmohan noticed that Laloo was procrastinating many decisions. Being an economist, he decided to use the power of compounding to teach a lesson and invited Laloo to a game of golf.

Manmohan told Laloo that if he missed the first hole he would have to pay him one rupee; from there on it would be double for every hole that he missed. Laloo thought for a moment. Manmohan was asking money for every hole he would miss, not every shot, there are 18 holes, and they were starting at Re.1 one only. He tried to calculate how much he would lose if he missed all the 18 holes, but decided it wouldn't be much anyway. And of course he couldnt get it right immediately in every hole.

And at the end, he gave a Rs.100 note to Manmohan and asked for the change. But Manmohan asked for the balance of Rs.1,30,972! Laloo got angry and asked for the calculation. Prepared for it, Manmohan gave him the calculation sheet. Hole
Amount Owed

1 1

2 2

3 4

4 8

5 16

6 32

7 64

8 128

9 256

10 512

11 1024

12 2048

13 4096

14 8192

15 16384

16 32768

17 65536

18 131072

Metaphorically, what we do not realise is that when we postpone doing something in life even by a day, the gap in the beginning is only "2 minus 1" but the gap later is "131072 minus 65536". Our procrastinations may not hurt us too much in the beginning but what we will be deprived of in the long run can be very damaging.

Thankfully Manmohan didnt invite Laloo to a game of chess and start at Re.1 for the first square ask it to be doubled for every square in the game i.e 64. It would have started at Re.1 and for the 64th square it would have been Rs.18,446,744,073,709,600,000. Even chess, at the 16th square , quarter way mark its just Rs.65,536. And in the half way mark at 32nd square, it becomes Rs.42,94,967,296. And remember it started at Re.1.

We understand the importance of health and fitness but we postpone our efforts in that direction. We realise the importance of financial planning and investment but we procrastinate our initiative that direction. We comprehend the importance of board exams but push our preparations till it becomes a crisis. We find pushing papers into the pending folder as the most convenient option.

Of course you can replace the characters with your own personal favourite characters and get a good laugh. Or you can decide, the life and the lifestyle you want at 60s and 70s. The benefits of any habit or deed, good or bad is always compounded. We may not appreciate the importance of healthy food or exercise or financial planning or communicating our love to our family now. Most of us are still at an early hole, lets make the choices now. And let the power of compounding work, in every sphere of our life. Perhaps Laloo wouldn't have agreed if he knew about the magic of compounding in the beginning. Now you know it, if you decide to procrastinate even now, you will be dumber than the Laloo in the story.

The choice is yours:)

Leo

2004-11-18T11:32:00.000+05:30

Well there are 12 zodiac signs whats the big deal about Leos. Well there are many animals , why is the Lion the King of jungle?

The pride and joy of being a Leo
Well there is a satisfaction in associating yourself with a sign like Leo. You want to throw up your head high in the air and say aaaaaaaaah I was born to rule. I can't imagine a Libran being able to say that. Sure you have balanced views etc, but what can be more exhilirating than power ?Leos are probably creative (or like me like to think they are creative) and ambitious (well if you are associated with power what else will you be?) And proud. Well why not.

But I am sure there is one thing that puzzles Leos. Why there are other Leos. After all, why so many rulers? Leo bonding? Well hmmm tough to say. They will support a fellow Leo, but cant imagine them being comfortable for long with each other. And Leos of the opposite sex, together? Ha just watch the sparks. Of course other than agreeing on what fabulous people Leos are, I can't imagine two Leos agreeing on anything else.

Leos love being dramatic and being in control. If they were fast bowlers they would aim mainly to get the batsman bowled. Not some lbw or a slip catch and to rely on the umpire and the fielders.

What Leos wear. Its easy to spot a Leo besides their emotional characteristics. Leos feel its their duty to dress dramatically. Not differently please. They wont be eccentric, but just dramatic. If Leo has to wear just a bit of black they will make sure every bit they wear is black. In weddings they will be most dressed person or just plain and say they dont believe in dressing up. Dont worry about spotting Leos, Leos think its their duty to make it easy for others to spot them.

And its tough being a Leo. They need people (to appreciate and cherish them). But other Leos won't do that to them all the time, and if in company of superiors(?) or equals (?) its tough and barely tolerable and though they love appreciation, hate the weak and meek too. And I suppose other zodiacs will say its tougher for them to deal with Leos. So some tips on dealing with Leos

Leo Spouse
Leos like to have the final word. Leos are like fast bowlers. And as Gavaskar said let the fast bowlers dominate for the first one hour and then you can dominate them for the day. So its ok if you give in to them. The Leo will always believe that if you give in, it is because of their power of arguement and that for some unknown reason they are always wise and right. Let them have the final say, the lion becomes a content cat. But go on arguing only at your own peril.(unless you are also another Leo). Don't forget to ask their opinion frequently and if you disagree with their taste, compliment them on their fantastic taste and mention that everyone thinks the Leo spouse has a fantastic taste, and just when they swell up in pride, mention, you since you are a non-Leo, you don't have the confidence to carry it of, or not comfortable with the choice etc. They will tend to agree. After all they are magnanimous, aren't they. And if its a Leo male remember his birthday, if its a female remember the day you met, the day you got engaged, the day she first spoke to you etc. Or better instead of good morning greet her everyday with "Happy Returns of the Day".She won't be offended even if she cant think of a reason for this greeting. For that matter Leo males will be equally impressed with this strategy. And irrespective of what the Leos buy for themselves, they will always approve/buy better stuff for their spouse, never foget the generousity card.(provided the spouse follows the rules and Appreciates). Unfortunately the generousity card can be misused by others with a hardluck sob story, so hold on tightly to the purse strings by Appreciating Leos for trusting you to make the decisions)

Leo Employees
Leos like being the boss. Even if they are not the boss, they will think they are the real boss and will soon become the boss. So if you are boss to Leos, well, watch out they will aim to be Your boss while other signs might just aim for your position. And HR dept should love them especially those in low salary paying companies. Salary is not everything. Give a fancy title, tell them they are the world, the company needs them and dont forget to give them the Employee of the Year award every year.And you will have a loyal lion until another HR reads this blog and uses this technique to snatch your Leo.

Leo Boss
Well its a repetition. But still for those employees who have been getting on the wrong side of their boss, dont forget to compliment them. Hmmm dont think a Leo cant distingush between compliments and flattery. But generally though they have a good memory they can be forgiving and the tempers do cool down after a while. And really I dont know what anyone can say against a Leo Boss. They are just doing what they were born to do.

Leo Colleagues
Well its a combination of above and if you want them to do something just tell them you dont know how to do it and pretend to not understand instructions if they tell you. Ha! How Leos love showing off that they alone can do certain things.

Leo Child
Parenting Leo children can be tough. Appeal to the sense of responsibility and just be careful . When they grow a bit older they will start behaving like your parents. And it you have more than one Leo child, I will pray for your family peace.

Leo Parents
If both your parents are Leo, unless you are a Leo, hostel would better. (Unless you find a Leo hostel warden there).And if one of your parent is Leo, just hmmm butter up to that parent and you will get everything you want and more.

If you notice, I will never mention how Leos should deal with others. Simply because, they don't believe in dealing with other signs, just leading them :)

Leos are courageous too, but I can't imagine a Leo fighting a war if there were no medals.

Above all Leos love a laugh, though not always at themselves : )

“Disclaimer : All of the above statements regarding Leos are fictional and any resemblance to Leos (and that this blogger happens to be a Leo) is purely coincidental. But if other bloggers agree with it, I will say “Thanks :) ” and will think “ Of course I knew. I am always right.“

PS : If you want to post comments on Leos please don't forget that its Leo with a capital L. Leos notice these things.

Compatibility Checklist

2004-11-17T12:38:00.000+05:30

Should one wait for eternity for the soulmate? Not at all. Just be clear on why you want to get married and what you want from marriage and what efforts you are willing to put in. Love sure is great, but two compatible individuals can make a marriage work too. And for your convenience have thought of a Compatibility Checklist

1. What is the room temperature we both are comfortable in. (9 out of 10 you will like AC during the night and your spouse wont or the other way round.)

2.What time do you sleep and wake up. (Think its dumb? Ask and you will be amazed)

3. My parents are not perfect. Please love them and tolerate them What you want me to love your parents too??? And I should consider their suggestions while making my decisions??? What do you mean by being polite to your friends? And how will you treat my friends?

4.What do you watch on TV or is it ok if we have different tv and watch different programmes.Similarly, do we have to do everything together? Shopping, movies etc.

5.If its a holiday will you like to prefer to go out more or slouch around the house.

6.Do you read books. What do you read. If its the same choice,decide who gets to read it first. If one reads and other doesnt, decide what the other will do when one reads.

7. Everyone loves music. Find out the volume the spouse prefers to hear it in.

8. How much of your salary do you spend on other family, past loans, lifestyle,hobbies etc. Do you believe in investment, and what do you prefer to invest in and what do you think are basic essential expenditure (list out. just eating out , clothing, etc won't do). How much can we spend without checking with the other. and vice versa.

9.What are your bad, irritating, annoying habits which you wont change even for me.

10. What are the dates I should remember (Include family and friends important dates too.Write down and save it). What are the gifts I can buy and not buy. Is an utility item a gift? Are you sure you love suprises?

11.We all love net. Check the number of computers and the internet connections and also the sites the partner would visit and their net ids. (The nteractive websites list is particularly important. Who wants to complain, flirt etc , only to find out its your spouse). If both of you are bloggers -Agree to not visit the spouse blog and vice versa. No one likes criticism and there can never be enough of appreciation.

12.Do you know to cook? Do you clean after cooking? Who should cook when and ask them to be specific on their food preferences. Just Indian, Chinese won't do. How many spoons of sugar in coffee, how spicy, how much oil, coconut whatever etc. (Better if each write down the specifications and negotiate.)

13.What is your favourite problem solving technique?Astrologer, counsellor, family, friends, mag columns, ignore etc and mix and match them. Of course all problems are not similar. But be prepared for the techniques.

14.Can we discuss sex?

15.When to have children, and what each one of us should do for the child. (Discuss nappy changing, doing homework etc too. Not just being a role model for the child blah blah blah). And if any career adjustments should be made after having children.

Please note that all the points apply to men and women unless specifically excluded.But if all this is tough for you just ask think what you would like to do if you get 15 minutes of free time. And ask the other person to think and then tell. If it matches, go ahead.
Hmmm sometimes thats all you get to spend with the person in a day

Before walking off into the sunset

2004-11-16T11:39:00.000+05:30

Aaah the Romantic Movies and Mills & Boons ! The couple get married, walk off towards the sunset and live happily ever after. Hmmm but before you decide on the marriage, do think twice about your mate and the choice and your commitment. Don't get married if you want to get married for the following reasons.

1. The Age
Of course each one has their own "age". Sometimes we determine it, sometimes its parents,friends,relatives and the neighbour next door.
When you are sure the Age has arrived, look around but don't decide unless you are sure of some other things too.

2. Wannabe
All the friends have got married. Surely I should too.
If your friend goes to a dentist, would you go too? Just because your friends do it doesn't mean you should do it too or importantly that it is good for you.

3.I want to have sex
Variations I want more free sex, or I am tired of waiting, I wish someone made love to me etc
Marriage is not just about sex, though its one of the main aspect in marriage. Marriage doesnt guarantee good sex though. And sex with a person you dislike is worse than no sex.

4.What will they say
If I go on waiting everyone will think there is something wrong with me or that I am an homosexual etc
Never ever do something only because otherwise people will "talk". If not on your sexuality those who want to gossip, will gossip on something else. I agree its not pleasant when you seem to wait for eternity and you get proposals from the same sex. But hey you cant please all the people at all the time.
And I agree spinster is not as pleasant as bachleor but the society is not going to be there for you. Its your life.

5. I want more money
I want to improve my lifestyle. I will get a dowry if I marry or if I marry and be a homemaker I dont have to work etc
If you marry someone for money, be prepared that the other person will marry you for money too. And also be prepared that the spouse won't stick with you when you go through sticky times.

6.I want to cash in on my looks
I wont deny that a person will get more proposals based on looks in their twenties than in their forties (unless you have some rare gene or visit the plastic surgeon). But if all you have to offer is looks, you won't have it for eternity. And some better looking person can still come along. And if you find it tough to believe looks aren't everything, think about Princess Di.

7. Hot!
Oh yeah fine if it is temporary. The person looks hot and if the way to spend some time with that person is marriage and even if it is temporary, why not?
Tell innocent divorcee and see the smirk. The second hand tag is tough. And it will be tougher to convince your soul mate, of your commitment next time around. And if you think you are going to find endless queue of "hot"people, well even if you are rich, they are going to be interested in the riches not you.

8.I am lonely
Variations, I am bored (I have achieved all I want so why not try something new etc.), would be good to have someone around the house and share some chores and bring some money.
If you are lonely get a pet, If you are bored you need a hobby not a hubby, if you want someone to help around the house get a housekeeper, and a spouse might bring money but can also spend your money too.

9.Duty
Parents want to finish their duty, grandparents want to see their grandchild before they die etc. Variations, I want to do my duty to the human race.
Its your life and your relationship. Sure you are eternally grateful to them. But show your gratitude in some other way. And regarding your duty to human race, pay your taxes and use less plastic and fuel etc.

10. I want to have fun on marriage day
Variations, I want to wear that dress (which one is supposed to wear on marriage date), be the center of attention etc
Throw a party and get some other dress. Sure in marriage someone else could bear the party expenses but if the marriage doesnt work, divorce lawyers are more expensive compared to the cost of couple of parties.

11.My boyfriend/girlfriend proposed
Dating is not the same as marriage. Everyone tries to be on the best behaviour during dates.Dating is similar to advertisements and Marriage is similar to maintainence and after sales service.

12. Good friends
Our families are good friends. The mate also is good looking and decent. (i.e looks sane and no criminal history) Seems to be interested and our family is keen. Ok love can be develop after marriage too. But people are pleasant to strangers, dont take it as a guarantee. Refer to my earlier advise on dating too.

My parents didn't have a problem. Why would I have?Try watching one channel for a day without remote control. Your parents watched Doordarshan and didnt complain, did they. Can you watch for 15 minutes a stuff you don't like on TV? Our lifestyle has changed. We expect to make the best out of every moment in life. And your mate is going to expect the same too. Just be prepared for it.

Marriage is not a guarantee to make life better. It is not a Tablet which will cure for All your problems. But its like a Tonic which can Enhance your life.

PS : If you want to marry because you want to enter the records books on the number of marriages or because of a new reality tv programme, I really don't know what to say other than Hmmm:)

Quest

2004-10-11T11:02:00.000+05:30

Many probably think that the search for their soulmate, would be the toughest search on the planet. Well for me its the quest for the ultimate blogspot. I have tried almost all blog servers (if you can think of one i could have missed ,postyour comment now)
The criteria is simple :
My blog must be on its featured list not once, but everyday. Ok I am ready to compromise, every alternate day or for 12 hours of the day.
Must receive atleast 100 comments, and 99 of them must be saying what a smart person I must be, and funundersun really delivers and is the wittiest blog in the web, and that it changed the way they view their life, and my blog has helped them to become a new person altogether, and they are eternally indebted to me.
Thats all!! Is it asking for too much???
Well this is my first post, lets see how this one works out...